I awoke this morning to a large, unmarked manilla envelope on my front porch. Inside, I found this mysterious message, with drawings in response to my review of the Expert Guide to Fellatio.
“Greetings. I trust you’ve read my enclosed review of the Expert Guide to Fellatio. As you can see, I felt it left something to be desired. Fortunately, I’ve noticed
Babeland offers a much better alternative, in my opinion. Why not try an Expert’s Blow Job Kit? For a very reasonable price, you can get your Ultimate Guide to Fellatio, some of Babeland’s mojitio peppermint lube, a RingO cock ring, and a Nanovibe finger vibe. This kit also includes batteries, some Trustex multiflavored condoms and comes in a beautiful box with ribbons.
So, dear friends, instead of going for this lackluster instructional video, I implore you to try the Expert’s Blow Job Kit, for a night of Baltese Falcon approved fun. Your penis, or loved one’s penis, will probably thank you.
Until we meet again,
The Baltese Falcon”